“It was almost impossible for him (Sam) to talk about it (his depression and anxiety)– even with his best friends and even with us– and that was his downfall… it was just totally encompassing and overwhelming,” said Sam Holmes’ dad Tim Holmes. Nineteen-year old Sam was one of the top high school golfers in Missouri and yet, because of depression and anxiety, was driven to take his own life.

Losing a child is one of the most devastating things that can happen to a mother and father, and though I’m cetain they tried to get him help, I would have attempted to get him into a supprt group with others his own age who also suffered from depression and anxiety.

I recall a group I was involved with in Kansa City many years ago who were former inmates of the penal system and who were about to re-enter the job market. One of the particpants, for the first eight sessions, sat with his arms folded and was determined to say nothing. But then, when he realized he was in an environment where it was safe to talk about his issues and problems, he let loose and began talking…so much so that, in fact, it was difficult to shut him up.

Based on what Sam’s father said, Sam was withholding (bottling up) his issues and feelings and as we know, when someoe withholds it’s a form of lying that demeans them and lowers their self-esteem, which could result in depression and anxiety. That’s why support groups are so helpful.