Mind Over Sports

NFL CULTURE MADE WIVES OF PLAYERS FEEL TRAPPED.

Posted on: November 18, 2014

The NY Times recently wrote: “The former wives of two players said they felt isolated and powerless when they were urged to stay quiet about violence and avoid causing disruptions
The two women who left their husbands — Mercedes Sands, who was married to the Cincinnati Bengals player Robert Sands, and Brandie Underwood, who was married to the Green Bay Packers player Brandon Underwood — described abusive relationships in which they felt trapped, in part because of each team’s close-knit culture and a protocol that emphasized avoiding disruptions.   It was better to endure indignities like infidelity, other wives told them, or to keep quiet even if the hostility in their marriages seemed unbearable, than to cause a ruckus that could upend the success and harmony of the team.”

I’m sure most of the NFL teams have on-staff marriage counselors (or someone who fills that position when the need arises) but based on my own personal experience, I ‘ve found that there are very good marriage counselors and very bad marriage counselors. And if I were a woman contemplating a divorce from an NFL player, an on-staff counselor would probably be the last person I would want to help me because his (or her) primary goal would probably be to avoid any situation that might negatively affect the success and harmony of the team, rather than my welfare.

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