Archive for January 2014
Myth #1: Some Coaches are Great Motivators.
Contrary to most beliefs, you really can’t motivate another person. Inspire, yes. But true motivation must come from within and over the past 27 years I’ve found that the higher a person’s feelings of self-worth (self-esteem) the more motivated he or she will become. If I were speaking to a group of people in a room and my job was to motivate them, the first thing I would do would be to organize them into a support group so they could talk about personal issues they may be keeping bottled inside themselves and as they talk about their issues and vent their feelings, they’ll start to feel better about themselves and will automatically become more motivated. The most successful coaches are those who provide an internal mechanism for players to communicate with their teammates and discuss their issues together. And once they do, their performance levels will increase.
Which brings me to a discussion of a book entitled: “The Motivational Breakthrough: 6 Secrets for Turning On the Tuned-Out Child.” But unfortunately, I couldn’t disagree with the author more. He maintains that if you want to motivate children in school, you need to use the six P’s: Praise, Power, Projects, People, Prizes and Prestige. From my perspective, if you want to motivate children in school, especially those who are highly unmotivated, you need to do what I’ve described above as applied to sports teams. That is, put them into support groups and allow them to talk about issues in their personal lives and what is going on at home. Once they open up and discuss their feelings and emotions in a support group setting with their peers, they will enhance their own feelings of self-worth and will automatically become more motivated. There’s a correlation between High Self-Esteem and High Motivation and Low Self-Esteem and Low Motivation. You have to work from the inside out, not the outside in. And the same goes for so-called “Motivational Speakers” who I believe are a hoax. They should be called “Inspirational Speakers.”
Myth #2: The More We Believe We’re Part of a Team the More Successful We’ll Become.
I call this “The Myth of the Team,” and here’s how it works: The more we believe we’re part of a team, the less productive we become. I want to repeat that because it’s so important. The more we believe we’re part of a team, the less productive we become. The general belief is that the opposite is true – but it’s not. You see it very clearly on a team where one player is superior to others. The players who perceive themselves as less superior allow the more talented player to take over and lead the group. In the case of a basketball team, they allow the one player to rebound, to shoot, and to, in effect, be the team. As a result, their individual performances are inhibited. To counteract this, I always encourage coaches to take each player into their office and privately tell that player what he – the coach – expects of him or her in the coming game. Twenty points, ten rebounds, and so on. This sends a message to each player that he or she is perceived as an “individual” and has goals to achieve as an individual, rather than letting someone else take over his or her function. It also establishes expectations.
Myth #3: Positive Affirmations Always Work.
I once read a book that espoused a theory concerning positive affirmations. This particular book, written by a sport psychologist, maintained that if you say the phrase over and over again “I am a courageous, risk-taking warrior” that you can overcome your fear of taking a risk. This may work fine with people who have high self-esteem, but for those with a low sense of self-worth you’re speaking on deaf ears because risk-takers they are not. There is no affirmation in the world yet devised that can get them to take a risk, until they deal with whatever issues they have in their lives that are affecting how they feel about themselves. Then, the higher their self-esteem, the more likely they are to risk.
Athletes who want to begin feeling good about themselves must identify and begin resolving important issues in their lives before the results of being happy will surface. Relying on positive affirmations is like wagging the tail of a dog and expecting the dog to be happy. The dog must be happy first, and then its tail will wag…automatically.
Myth #4: Visualization Always Works.
I’m a strong believer in the theory that what takes place away from the field of competition affects what takes place on the field of competition. When athletes are encumbered with psychological baggage (issues and problems) visualization and other mental techniques will be ineffective. As a Performance Enhancement Trainer/Consultant I’m able to help athletes with their persona problems and issues and can also teach them visualization techniques. And I’ve found that when athletes are happy and their lives are in harmony, what they visualize will actually be created during competition.
I just finished reading an excellent article in USA Today by Steve DiMeglio and it was filled with information about Tiger starting his 19th season on the PGA Tour, but nowhere was there any mention of why he hasn’t won a major since 2008.
I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Tiger did not play well while he was having those extra-marital affairs in 2008 until November, 2009, when the National Enquirer published a story about his personal life. Soon after, in 2010, he and his then-wife, Elin Nordegren, divorced and she received custody of their two small children. As anyone who has ever been through a divorce knows, when there are small children involved, it doesn’t end the relationship but merely transforms it.
It’s been said that “hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” so one can only imagine what went through Tiger’s ex-wife’s mind when she read in the media that Tiger was dating beautiful Olympic Skier Lindsey Vonn. I’ve heard (and I don’t know this to be true) that she hates Vonn and if so, it would explain why Tiger’s ex may be harassing him. So my theory is that there’s a good possibility that Elin has been doing everything possible to make Tiger’s life miserable. Is it any wonder that he hasn’t won a major since 2008? And by the way, I’ve never heard of a divorce taking place where there was not enough blame to go around on both sides, and yet I have never heard or read anything negative about Elin in the media. I’m sure Tiger has been instrumental in making this happen since he knows that if anything negative appeared in the media it would, in the long run, affect his children.
So what can Tiger do, if anything, to reduce the amount of stress he is receiving from his Ex? (assuming I’m correct.) For starters, I would get two cell phones. One for his personal and business related calls (which Elin would not have access to) and the other strictly for Elin, which he would turn off before teeing off in the opening round and keep it off for the entire tournament.
In the Kansas City Chiefs-San Diego Chargers game last Sunday, with only four seconds remaining on the clock, the Chiefs’ Ryan Succop trotted onto the field and then missed a 41-yard field goal. But wait. The Chargers had lined up with an illegal formation and had the refs seen it, the play would have been run again, but this time closer to the uprights. Sorry, said the refs, illegal formations are not reviewable. Excuse me? I had always thought the purpose of a rule was to make sure that justice was served and that no team be allowed to win if they committed a rules violation. Not so, said the NFL. But had this rule not been in effect, Succop would have had a second chance, even closer to the uprights, and had he hit it, the Pittsburgh Pirates would have been in the playoffs. If I were attending the post-season owners’ meeting, that’s one rule I would definitely recommend be changed.