We see things as we are. Not as they are, but as “we” are. Case in point: A few years ago I was invited to work with a college level women’s volleyball team and one of their players (we’ll call her Becky) didn’t get along at all with her teammates. Becky happened to be one of the best players on the team but was constantly angry at her teammates and the coach. She was keeping a lot of her issues and feelings bottled up inside herself which was affecting her self-image. She saw everything from a negative perspective and believed everyone was against her and trying to take advantage of her. Needless to say this had a negative effect on team chemistry. I encouraged Becky not to withhold her feelings (and emotions) since that was a form of lying that would affect her focus. The team did fairly well that season considering what was going on behind the scenes, and at the end of the season, Becky graduated. Not long ago I visited the coach and inquired how Becky was doing in the outside world and she told me that about two years after graduating, Becky returned to school and met with her in private and apologized for her behavior. Which really made me feel good to know she was finally on a positive road in her life and, I’m sure, will be highly successful no matter what type of work she chooses to do. The fact she was able to acknowledge her own negative behavior while on the team and take action to correct it was a very positive sign.