Mind Over Sports

Archive for June 2012

JUNE 27, 2012: When DeWayne Wise, New York Yankees outfielder, didn’t catch a foul ball hit by Cleveland Indians’ Jack Hanahan, but acted like he had, and since umpire Mike DiMuro did not have a clear view of the play and ruled that he had caught the ball even though he hadn’t, Wise smiled sheepishly and headed to the dugout and the inning was over. When athletes lie, they are affecting their own self-esteem, which, in turn, negatively affects their performance. Later Wise said he didn’t want to “show up the umpire” which is a lame excuse. According to USA Today, writer Jorge L. Ortiz wrote that “DeWayne Wise did not make the catch, but he made the smart baseball play.”  Ortiz was wrong. There’s never anything smart about lying and not telling the truth. If DeWayne had informed the umpire that he didn’t catch the ball and that Hanahan wasn’t out, just think of what a hero he would have become to parents and kids. But he didn’t. And if it’s any indication of how he’s going through life, it’s no small wonder he’s been traded by so many teams since arriving in the majors.

Advertisements

What do these four professional athletes have in common: The quarterback who throws three interceptions and fumbles the ball twice in a single game; the basketball player who turns over the ball four times, misses free throws and goes 2 for 12 in a single game: the baseball player who strikes out three times, makes two throwing errors and goes 0-5 at the plate in a single game; and the golfer who keeps hooking and slicing the ball, misses short putts and shoots five over par. Most fans and sportswriters might say they just had an “off day” but I believe it’s more than that. The common thread among these athletes is that they have problems and issues in their personal lives that, for whatever reason, they’ve chosen not to resolve. As the great baseball manager Casey Stengle once said: “Most ball games are lost, not won.” And in mens professional sports, here are some of the reasons: Being unfaithful to your wife, anger at a teammate, anger at a coach, repressed feelings and emotions, finding out your girlfriend is pregnant, family problems at home, and a belief that you’re being punished by the Lord.  That’s why it’s important that athletes not repress their feelings and emotions.

The federal prosecutors made a costly error in judgment when they opted to select 10 women (mostly African-American) and 6 men, as jurors, and my understanding is the jurors selected knew very little about the game of baseball. Had they selected a jury of knowledgeable baseball people the jury would have had an inherent anger toward Roger for bringing shame upon the game when he lied about his use of performance enhancing drugs. Anyone who follows professional baseball knows that Clemens was guilty. The only ones who didn’t were those who had little knowledge about him or the game.

According to a recent article in USA Today there is a belief among some MLB scouts that one of the reasons there are so many no-hitters and perfect games this season is because teams are rushing hitters to the big leagues and they’re not yet equipped to handle secondary and off-speed pitches. Also, because of the ban on amphetamines players are running out of gas. There could be some truth to these assertions but I believe it’s primarily because many of today’s MLB teams lack team chemistry and there is often dissention among players and some of this dissention is due to discrepancies related to how they are compensated. But these issues are seldom discussed openly and are often swept under the rug because team owners and general managers try to keep them hidden from public view rather than taking action to resolve them. But many of them really have no idea as to what should be done to resolve them. In addition, many of the players are having extra-marital affairs and because they are living a lie it’s affecting their ability to focus on incoming pitches. If I were working with a MLB team I would encourage the manager to introduce a team rule that makes it very clear that no player would be allowed to be unfaithful to his wife and if he didn’t correct his behavior he would be suspended without pay for an indefinite period of time.

I’ve been reading Katie Couric’s excellent book “The BEST ADVICE I EVER GOT” and was especially taken by a chapter written by Bill Cosby titled “Don’t be your own worst enemy,” which also applies to sports performance. In sports, as in life, we sometimes expect we’re going to fail and, in fact, we do fail. It’s like the self-fulfilling prophecy. But the chapter was so funny and so relevant, I thought I would reproduce it here on my website. So here goes. (In Bill Cosby’s own words.) Enjoy.

In the late sixties, I was performing at a club in Chicago called the Gate of Horn. Even though it was a folk room, it was a nice, hip place and I was proud to work there. But across the street was a really big-time club: Mr. Kelly’s.
You see, in those days there were a whole bunch of clubs across the country – like Basin Street East in New York City, or the hungry I in San Francisco – that were the spots. They were the same level as Mr. Kelly’s. And the guys who played at these clubs – guys like Lenny Bruce, Dick Gregory, and Jonathan Winters — were making huge money: $2,500 a week! I was making $125. They were on Ed Sullivan; I had never been on TV.
The point is, these clubs were the pinnacle. The top. Once you played there, you were big-time. I often stared across the street and wondered, Gee whiz, man, will I ever get to play Mr. Kelly’s? Then one day, when I was back in New York, I got a call. The call. From my agent. He told me he had gotten an offer for me to play Mr. Kelly’s. Opening act at $350 a week – I had never made that much money in my life!
The brothers George and Oscar Marienthal owned Mr. Kelly’s.  I’m not sure if they were twins, but they looked a lot alike.  Anyway, they had seen me somewhere – I don’t know where – and obviously liked me, because they booked me. They flew me to Chicago, and I got a suite at the Hotel Maryland for twelve dollars a day, and then I went to Mr. Kelly’s and put my clothes in the dressing room.
So, I was sitting in my dressing room in Mr. Kelly’s, a small dressing room, and it was somewhere around two o’clock, and my mind started to tell me that I wasn’t really funny enough to be in a club like Mr. Kelly’s. Flash! You are not funny.
The feeling would go away – I would make it go away – but from two o’clock until the first show at eight, I began, without moving my lips, to talk myself into the fact that I was not funny and that I really and truly had no business playing Mr. Kelly’s.
These performers – are on TV. They have proven themselves. And you? You’re just a Temple University student, and I don’t know what you think you’re doing, but you certainly have no business in front of this crowd, which is a hard-liquor crowd. These people have seen the best, and they’re not going to see the best tonight.
And so I beat myself down to the point of not believing that I was funny. I just knew that I wasn’t going to do well. But I went downstairs anyway.
I had a sport coat on, slacks, a tie. I looked good. I looked like a professional comedian. And then the fellow introduced me: “Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Kelly’s is proud to present one of the fastest-rising new comedians, Bill Cosby!”
And there I was. Onstage. At Mr. Kelly’s. I forgot who the headliner was, but the house was about half full. There were a hundred people there, and maybe sixty applauded. I did my act, which was supposed to last twenty-five minutes, in twelve minutes. Twenty-five minutes of comedy in twelve minutes.
There was no laughter.
Of course, I left no time for laughter. And certainly, while I was talking, these poor people in the audience didn’t hear anything funny. I delivered my routine like a speech, and I did it in twelve minutes. And then I said, “Thank you very much and good night.”
I waved at them, and the same people who had clapped me onto the state did not clap me off.
I went to the dressing room, and I had this horrible feeling that this was it—the end of my career. And I talked to myself again without moving my lips, and I tried to make myself feel better: Okay, you’ve had a good time, but you certainly are not funny and you don’t want to do this again. You don’t ever want to do this again, because it’s a horrible, horrible feeling.
So I was sitting in my dressing room and there was a knock on the door. It was George Marienthal. George came in and closed the door. I had both arms across my chest and I was bent over, and I never looked up. “Mr. Marienthal,” I said, “I am very, very sorry for what happened, and I’m very sorry for what I did tonight. I refuse to accept any pay from you.”
“Good,” Mr. Mariental said, “”Cause you stink!”
“And as soon as I get the money I will pay you back for the plane trip, the hotel room, and everything else, but I will not be going out to do the second show. I am going back to Temple University.”
“I think you should.”
“I am going to play football and I am going to graduate from college and get my master’s and my doctorate.”
“Exactly!”
“So thank you very much for this opportunity, Mr. Marienthal. And I really apologize to you, but I will not be going back out on that stage.”
“Good,” Mr. Marienthal said, “You are not going back out on that stage because you, sir, are no good.”
I felt terrible. Just terrible. But Mr. Marienthal didn’t let up.
“You, sir, embarrassed me,” he continued. “You embarrassed my brother. And even though you embarrassed us, let me say that you don’t have to pay us back one iota. You owe us nothing. Just take your things with you and you may leave.”
Mr. Marientthal started for the door, but stopped and turned around to face me. “Will you do me a favor?” he asked.
“Sure,” I said. I would have done anything to feel less terrible, to somehow make amends.
“When you get back to your hotel,” Mr. Marienthal said, “will you tell Bill Cosby to come back here and do the second show and to never again send you, because, sir, you are not funny. Bill Cosby is very, very funny. I don’t know why he sent you. Probably because he was afraid. Who knows what happens in the minds of entertainers? But, sir, you get out of here and bring Bill Cosby – you send Bill Cosby. Do whatever, but Bill Cosby has to come back here and do the second show.”
Mr. Marienthal opened the door, gave me a look, and said with emphasis, “Now you get out. And don’t forget, I want Bill Cosby back here.”
I went back to the hotel. Despite what Mr. Marienthal had tried to do, it didn’t life my spirits . I didn’t feel any better. I sat in the room wondering what I was going to do. Eventually, I went back to the club.
I was embarrassed and walked straight through the club with no sense of pride. Nobody said anything to me. A trio was playing some hip kind of jazz music, and the place seemed to have a few more people than the first show. I went up to the dressing room and I just sat there. Nobody came in. The flowers that had come with a note from the Marientthals welcoming me to Mr. Kelly’s were still there—they hadn’t taken them away. So I just sat there.
Showtime!
I went downstairs and I stood there. Two minutes to eleven. The trio stopped and the audience politely applauded, and I stood in the dark, ready to go on for this horrible, horrible punishment. There I was, standing in front of these people who had seen the best and the greatest, and they were going to see the worst.
Eleven o’clock.
The announcer said, “Ladies and gentlemen…Bill Cosby.”
Just that. Bill Cosby. No “fastest-rising.” Nothing. And that introduction took me out of whatever self-pity I was wallowing in, because it hurt.
Ladies and gentlemen…Bill Cosby.
Bill Cosby? I knew I was better that that. Whaddayamean, Bill Cosby? What happened?
And I shouted as I walked onto the stage: “What happened to the part – you just said Bill Cosby – what happened to the part…”
The people began to chuckle, because they thought it was part of the routine. I said, “What? When you introduced me in the first show, you said I was one of the fastest-rising young, fastest-rising new comics. And now this time you just say Bill Cosby?”
The announcer – I don’t remember who the fellow was – said, “That’s because I saw the first show.”
And the audience broke up.
Now, ordinarily I guess this would have meant destruction for a performer. But for me, well, it just took me out of that self-degradation. And I began to talk to the guy.
“Well,” I said, “I’ll tell you something, it was a terrible show.”
And then Bill Cosby – the Bill Cosby in me – came out and did about ten minutes on my behavior and disastrous twelve-minute show. I didn’t say anything about Mr. Marientthal, but I glanced toward the back. I hoped he was watching.
So I did twenty-five minutes, and I think only about seven minutes of prepared, written material. The applause was wonderful. I left the stage and headed to my dressing room. I just sat there with my arms folded across my chest, rather relieved, but not completely. I still had some feelings of self-doubt.
Okay, okay. But there’s tomorrow. Do I have to wait until eleven o’clock, when they’re drunk?
There was a knock on my door. It was Mr. Marienthal. George. And he came into the dressing room.
“Bill, wonderful show,” he said. “Who was that horrible fellow you sent for the first show?”
I looked up at him and I said, “Mr. Marienthal, I hope never to send him out on stage again.”
And Mr. Marientahl said, “If you do, you ought to really, before you even think about it, realize that there are some people out there who want to laugh.”

No one will ever know for sure why Junior Seau took his own life, but based on what I’ve read in the media, and what is pretty common with NFL players soon after they retire, it appears he was experiencing severe financial problems. And because he was a famous celebrity and saw himself as a role model for kids I’m sure it was embarrassing for him to acknowledge that he hadn’t been able to take care of his own finances in such a way as to provide him and his family with a secure future. Whether or not Junior was an addicted gambler no one will know. But his death is another reason why the NFL needs to provide active players with reliable financial counseling and help them get their lives in order and prepare them for the day they retire.  Also, professional athletes who know their finances are secure perform at a higher level that those who are worried about their investments and their cash flow.


N. V. I.
National Visualization Institute

Learn how to visualize, resulting in increased performance.

CONTACT MARV FREMERMAN
PHONE: 417-773-2695

Sports related, Health related, and Business Sales related.

SAMPLE VISUALIZATION SPORTS VIDEO: Visit our HTML tutorial




Welcome to Outdoor Wilderness Adventures
If you are interested in booking a hunting or fishing trip anywhere in the world, with over 800 destinations to choose from, contact Marvin Fremerman at marv@outdoorwildernessadventures.com or call 417-773-2695. We will put you in direct contact with outfitters we recommend.

If you would like to review a list of our more than 800 outfitter destinations, click through the bear that appears below.


Hunting & Fishing Trips

Click Here

Personalized Counseling



Self-esteem building workshops and positive visualization seminars for athletes, sports teams, cancer patients and at-risk youth. Also available for speaking engagements.

E-Mail Marv

marv@mindoversports.com

Or call 417-773-2695

Categories

Archives

Buy Marv’s Books!

Contact Marv

If you would like to contact Marv directly, he may be reached at:

Marv Fremerman
Mind Over Sports
2320 West Westview Street, Unit A.
Springfield, MO 65807

417-773-2695

marv@mindoversports.com

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 90 other followers

hit counter